Our approach
The approach we use involves visiting each other's world. A real encounter with your partner will give depth to your relationship and will provide a sound basis for dealing with difficult situations together.
We often use the image of two islands to represent our approach. You sit on an island and your partner sits on another. Both of you want to be heard, of course, but in a relationship it is mostly the case that both partners transmit their messages from their own island. However, by remaining on your island you cannot connect with each other. The loneliness increases, as does the hurt.
Long-term support often unnecessary
A happy relationship lies within easy reach and does not depend on long-term support from a relationship coach. You learn how to encounter each other and you then apply these lessons at home, so a few sessions is usually sufficient to bring about change.
Encounter each other in 3 steps
During the session, you will notice that practical issues are no longer important once you have discovered 'the space between' and encountered each other personally. We call this the 3P Approach, with the Ps representing Practice, Process and Person. If you read the description below it will become clear to you how the sessions are built up.
- First P: caught up in practical issues
- Second P: discovering the 'the space between'
- Third P: encountering each other personally
By means of this approach you learn the difference between an ordinary conversation and a visit. The latter enables you to go in search of the causes of charged-up emotions, so you can strengthen the connection between you both.
Once you have mastered the art of visiting, you can 'talk' together about anything. Restoring that connection is, for Hans, a prerequisite for breathing new life into your relationship. This does not, however, mean that the focus is only on paying visits. Discussions can involve all sorts of subjects; it just depends on the dynamics of your relationship. In addition, Hans will also draw on observations from commonly occurring situations.
